Monday, February 16, 2009
Who's the Wuss Now, Huh???
2009 had been kind of strange for me so far. In a good way, that is. When I went in to renew my driver's license with the state of Illinois back in January, I thought long and hard about some of my life choices in the past while waiting in line. No, not my choice in sexual orientation, but something profoundly deeper.
For the longest time since being licensed by Pennsylvania, Missouri and Illinois, I had always left that little checkbox that read "organ donor" blank. My thought process was that if it was time for one to leave the world of the living, then it was time. Why should some doctor get to play a higher form of deity and take one of my organs to extend the life of another?
Well, suffice to say, I decided to check that "organ donor" box this past January. Change of heart? Possibly. I realized that playing a form of deity was not a problem of mine in this whole thing. I also realized that it was entirely selfish of me to take my healthy organs to the grave should I be lucky enough to become brain dead in some kind of a freak accident. (Preferably involving two hot naked chicks...)
In that same train of thought, I decided without hesitation to give blood when my company sent out an email informing us of an employee blood drive. The 10th of February is now forever sketched into my electronic calendar as the day I first gave blood for the very first time in my life.
The reading materials warning me of the gazillion reasons why I may or may not be a suitable candidate as a blood donor? No big deal. The 369 questions (or so I thought) in the questionnaire regarding my history, such as if I had ever slept with a person who received or made payment for sexual favors? Believe it or not, I actually struggled with this questionnaire. I thought, what about one night stands, and I had worn protection? Was that any less critical than being in sexual cahoots with a "person who received or made payment for sexual acts?" LOL
Okay, so I wasn't really struggling with the questionnaire, but I did chuckle to myself with ethical minefields I was conjuring up in my wickedly twisted mind. After all that hustle, I finally sat in the waiting area for a free lawn chair that looked like the ones the American Red Cross had stolen from the poolside of some imitation swanky hotel pools. Except these came with the hooks to hang your blood bag with.
As an athlete, I am always subconsciously competitive with most trivial things. I had overheard the big guy who had already started giving blood that it wasn't his first time. Again, in my twisted mind, I created a little competition to see if I could give a pint of my blood close to the time this big guy got done.
Unfortunately, the competition quickly faded because suddenly all my manhood momentarily seeped away when the nurse took out this ginormous needle with a needle hole large enough to fit a Tic Tac! "This will only sting a little," was all I could hear before I thought I was going to pass out. Remember, I'm the kind of guy who enjoys watching the needle pierce my skin and muscles. Like I said, I'm kind of twisted.
Thankfully, the sting was indeed little, even though it lasted a good second too long. And before long, I was focusing back on the competition. I don't remember how many times I must've done this, but I turned my head to look at the big man in the eyes, followed by looking deeply into his pint bag. If only I could see what he was thinking every time I did that. But soon enough, my pint bag was bursting in the seams before the big guy gave a pint. Ding Ding! I had won. In fact, I even had enough time to get the nurse to take pictures of me before the big guy finished.
As I proudly walked over to the snack table, I read over the list of things to do or not do in the five hours after giving blood. I sat down to chug two boxes of apple juice, and that's when the big guy came over. He drank some orange juice, and we both snacked away. The guy kept on sitting there, eating slowly, and taking his sweet ass time. I thought I could copy that, because what can possibly be better than to waste productivity on company initiatives, especially when free food was involved?
But before long, the moral person in me whispered in my ears, "Get your ass going! You have a couple things you have to do before you leave for work!" So I did. As I left, I snickered to myself thinking of the big guy still sitting there snacking away slowly, What a wuss! Big giant guy can't take it like a man for just a pint of blood?
Of course, after walking back hurriedly to my desk, I started feeling dizzy and wobbly. Turned out that yeah, you really need to take your time to recover after giving blood. So who was the wuss now?
Damn!
Labels: American Red Cross, giving blood, philantrophy, stupidity
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Good on ya. I'm the Campaign Manager for Donate Life Illinois on behalf of Gift of Hope Organ & Tissue Donor Network. Over 4,700 Illinois residents and more than 100,000 people nationwide are waiting for lifesaving transplants. It wouldn't have to be this way if everyone took a moment to register, to commit to potentially helping save the lives of others. In short, thank you.
Feel free to remind others, Illinois now has a first person consent registry, so if you haven't registered since Jan. 1, 2006 you need to do so to join this new registry.