MySpace "Memoirs of a Runner" - Tuesday, January 17, 2006, 22:47

Seeing how the last couple of weeks have been witness to the controversy of James Frey's memoir in his book A Million Little Pieces, I thought maybe my new blog entry will be styled in similar fashion. It’s up to you to decide if what I recounted is true or false. Hee hee…

I woke up real late (and a bit hungover) on Friday morning with just an hour to pack and be at the airport to catch my flight. The weather was foul, with a mix of high velocity winds and snow flurries. I had such a hard time hailing down a cab that it took 15 minutes to get rolling on the road, with just 45 minutes till my flight departs. But somehow, whenever you are running late and the weather was pure nasty, your flight tends to leave on time. And when the weather is ever so slightly disturbed and you get to the airport on time, the flight gets delayed. Why is that?

Anyway… I slept most of the way to Phoenix, except for the little layover I had in Denver, where I encountered a flight delay. While there, I decided to text Katie with a “What up?!?” before falling back to sleep. The flight was okay. I was still sleepy and tired from the sleepless nights I have endured throughout the week. After landing, while going to the shuttle bus to get the rental car, I went to the restroom. I saw this amazing girl. Oh my. She was hot and such a cutie. I just look at her, and smile a little. She smiled, but then, as soon as I entered the doorway, she looked puzzled. Then I saw an interior décor that didn’t fit what I was expecting, and furthermore, it smelled surprisingly good! “Oh Shit!!!” The cutie started chuckling as I said that out loud. Why did it not register with my mind that if I was heading into a restroom, and there was a cute girl coming out of it, that I was heading into trouble? Oops… Now I had to count that as the fourth time I have ever walked into the wrong restroom. =) Unintentionally, of course…

Right after my gender icon recognition failure, I checked in to my nice hotel, which happened to be a Homewood Suites. Knowing I had to go pick up Erin and Chris at different times, I decided to investigate their flight information, such as the time it was supposed to arrive, and whether there was any sort of delays, etc. Erin was supposed to arrive on time at 18:10, and Chris’s flight was delayed to 22:10. So I went online to do a little blogging.

I get a call from Erin at 17:40, indicating she had just landed. My response? “Dang girl… You are early! I’ll be right there!” I wondered why Southwest Airlines’ website had indicated an on time arrival at 18:10. As soon as I got into the car, I noticed that the clock registered “18:45.” Hmm… Apparently Arizona is only an hour behind Central Time, unlike what I have thought the entire time. Hee hee hee… So Erin’s ride was a bit undependable… ;) But I blamed it on the tiredness and the hunger…

Erin and I then proceeded to get Italian food for dinner. Apparently the place we went was a popular joint, as the wait for a table was about an hour or so. Yikes!!! Being the super skilled stalker that I was, I managed to snatch a table at the bar area with just about 15 minutes of waiting! I wondered what the couple who was sitting at the table thinking of Erin and I standing so close to them. Oh well… A hungry man had to do what he ought to do. =)

Then we went to pick Chris up, after tricking her into believing that we were drunk as skunks! Hee hee… But my, oh my, was I ever familiar with the route to the airport inside out! When we all finally got back, we turned in for an early night after a little bit of grocery shopping and getting a 40 oz. Miller Lite. Katie would have been proud. Chris wanted beer, but Erin ended up being the only one drinking it. Hmm… Then Erin decided to play dress up with her bathing suit. That was cool! After Chris fell asleep, she was attacked by Nikey. No joke!!!

Saturday morning rolled around, and we all went to some convention center for the Health Expo where we get our race packets. There, they had an exhibition/demo on how to tie a timing chip to your shoelaces. I guess a single simple illustration on the packet was not sufficient that some poor fellow had to demonstrate the five second procedure a thousand times throughout the day.

Since we didn’t have time to shop the expo, we left immediately to meet up with some Phoenix runners for lunch at P.F. Chang’s. Chang’s was the main sponsor of the Phoenix Rock n Roll Marathon, thus we were all given a $10 gift card. Of course, I had to forget mine. We got to meet some interesting folks, like Lynn, Eric and Lisa. There were too many people that I could not meet everybody. =) But I know a couple of them rode their crotch rockets there though. Ha ha… Crotch rockets. Repeat that a few times real quick. Yes, I am easy to entertain. LOL And the best part about it was the “Lisa’s friend” story. A virgin race runner friend of hers encountered the first medical tent in a past race, and was faced with a depression stick with some goo on it. They were also passing out drinks, so Lisa’s friend thought it was some sort of a food. He stuck it in his mouth and smacked his lips real tight as he pulled it out. Lisa’s friend ate a stick full of Vaseline!!! Ha ha ha ha ha…

After the great time at lunch with the jovial stories, we went back to the expo to do some shopping for anything and everything running related. Erin found a lost cell phone, and we played phone tag. Chris got some cool stuff, as well as some gifts for friends. I was selfish, as I did not get any gifts. Well, I did get Szu, my little sister, a little present. But the most important thing we all wanted to get was the disposable jacket, which was only $7. It is made with the same materials as the airline pillow slip covers, so I called them pillow jackets. The whole idea is that you want to keep warm at the beginning of the race and run with it till you are warmed up. After that, you can toss it. But as we neared the end of the expo, we went back to the official merchandise section, where we could buy yesteryears’ items for $2. And guess what? They had the real cotton sweaters from previous years for $2. What was up with that? Spending $7 on a disposable jacket that barely keep you warm, and finding real sweaters that cost only $2. Ha ha ha…

After the money spending activity, we went out to the square area where there were many statues of naked women in various art forms. Erin, Chris and I proceeded to molest them, while the drivers in traffic watched. Erin was naughty and made fun on a male statue’s poorly endowed equipment. I, on the other hand, played the OB/GYN and shocker a couple times. Yeah, I was naughty!

Before law enforcement folks could arrive and lecture us on the immature activities we were doing, we skated to Tempe to meet my friend Emily for dinner at Four Peaks Brewery. Wow!!! Every single server had nice peaks! That explained the Four Peaks name. LOL Erin got this $8 beer sampler, which was the best sampler we have ever saw of all the microbrews we have ever been to! She got nine two oz samples of each beer in a fantastic tray! None of that paper stuff… Awesome!

As Sunday morning rolled around, we got up and readied for the race. The drive to the finish line in Tempe was a bit long. We were 30 minutes behind schedule, so I sped 20 miles per hour above the speed limit. Two state highway patrol blew by me without pulling me over. How nice was that? When we got there and parked, I met this interesting guy named Whitey from Seattle on the bus shuttle. He was pretty cool, as this was his ninth marathon. He gave me some great tips…

After getting to the race start site, we walked around to listen to some bands play in the darkness of dusk and drank coffee and ate bagels and bananas. Before we knew it, after waiting in line for the portable lavatories onsite twice, it was 15 minutes till 7:30, which was the time the gun would have gone off marking the official start of the race. So here I was, stuck in trying to get to our corral, and have not stretched a single bit!!! And immediately after the national anthem was sung, we started moving. I saw some guy take off his cheap sweater and flung it towards the spectator stands. It landed on another racer’s head, covering his entire face. How funny was that?

The excitement was in the air, adrenaline pumping, and everybody cheered. The race had commenced! Since Erin and I were far back in the corral, we didn’t cross the start line for what seemed to be long minutes… But it did not matter. Funny thing was as we crossed the start line and went by the event photographers, Erin gave the shocker signs! LOL Anyway, Erin and I kept pace together. As we approached mile 1 marker, Erin asked what the difference of the clock time and the actual chip time. I responded, one is based on the gun, and the other is based on when we actually crossed the start line. She didn’t say anything back. It wasn’t until mile 3 that I realized what she meant with her question. She wanted to know the difference or spread of the time between the gun and when we started. Oh… I felt like an idiot!!! But I told her the spread right there. I was such an idiot!

At mile 5.47, I lost Erin. That girl can run. So I ran by myself for the most part. Between mile 6 and 7, I spotted someone running for Aarthi’s cat blow by me. She was doing a 7.5 mm pace, which I couldn’t keep up. But damn it, I wanted to take a picture of that. So I tried to keep up with speedy here, and took a couple pics. Why Aarthi’s cat? Because the girl was running for Peanut! =)

Somewhere along the route, before mile 9, I ran by a weird looking lady dressed in a, uhm, white trash kind of a giddy up, jumping up and down in a funny way. I would not have thought that it was white trash and that she was just dressing up for the occasion, had it not for her daughter in a similar fashion riding some rusted bike around her in circles.

Then shortly before mile 9, I ran by an adult store with a prominent sign right by the road. I thought about getting a picture taken with that, but decided not to. Then later on, right after mile 9 marker, I started getting hungry. Mind you, I have not had breakfast that day. Right after a band stage was a Walgreen’s store. I thought to myself, “To hell with this hunger. I’m getting myself an energy bar!” On my way into the driveway to the store was a medical tent. A nice lady asked if she could help, but I kindly responded that she couldn’t help with my specific needs. She countered, “Try me.” I said that I was starving. So she handed me a couple cups of pretzels that were meant to feed the volunteers! They were laughing, and another lady who was there to record all encounters at the tent asked the first lady what to write down. “Just check ‘Other’ for the reason, and write in ‘hunger.’” How funny was that?

Then somewhere past mile 14, where we had started the long track up the “big” hill, I ran by a group of hot high school cheerleaders. What gravitated me to that group as opposed to the many other high school cheerleaders along the route was not the fact that they were cute, but that they were wearing the Fire Chief costume hat. Just like the Fireman’s fun run I did in Chicago last year with Momentum. As I ran by them, I asked one of them if I could have it. She said yes. Score!!! So I ran with it on my head, trying to be funny, thinking it would kick ass to have Erin see me cross the finish line with it…

Unfortunately, after a couple miles, I could not handle the heat that was building up on my head, since the costume hat was not breathable and made of plastic. Then I saw a little kid pointing at me. So I ran to him and plopped the hat on him. He was excited, yet uncertain about how to react. His mom said thank you for him. I was glad to have made a kid happy that day.

And a strange thing happened! I see a guy barefoot run by me! Whoa! What was that all about? Then somewhere along the way, I saw a couple more funny things. To my right somewhere in Scottsdale was a bunch of Scottsdale gymnasts doing routines on the sidewalk! I’m not going to lie and say that I continued running at the same pace. I slowed down to check them out. Hee hee… Then along the same stretch of road, I came across a “Got Bounce?” troupe. It was some radio station promoting the genre of music they play, and they had hired a bunch of hot girls doing hip hop dance routines on the road. I could not keep my eyes off of them. I wonder why… Ha ha…

Unfortunately, my high hopes and happy feeling left me when I started feeling pain in my right knee. So I had to walk the rest of the way, which totaled to about six miles of the marathon. Boo! But I got to see one final interesting item. A power plant, or what seemed like it, with a large compound filled with numerous solar panels!!! How sci-fi was that? And the best part of it all? Around mile 24, there was a spectator parked by the side of the track camping out with a keg of beer. And they were handing out cups of beer to runners!!!

After crossing the finish line, I stumbled off to get my finisher’s medal and food, and meet up with Erin and Chris, who completed the half. We met up with the rest of the Phoenix runners we have met the prior day, and went to a restaurant for lunch. With all this hurriedness, I did not get a chance to stretch. Probably a mistake. There at the restaurant, I proceeded to be a weirdo. I don’t know why, but I pretended to be a girl with boobs and tried to get a cleavage going. Yeah, what was in that recovery drink they handed out at the end of the race?

We finally drove back to the hotel to rest. There, I watched the Panthers beat the Bears, 29-21. =( Then we decided to go get dinner in a nice, relaxing environment. Erin, Chris and I all went out with normal outfits, except for the shoe department—bright neon green sandals! We asked the front desk lady for a good Japanese restaurant. We decided on one, and went there. The food was good. But when we got the bill, we realized that we had gone to the wrong restaurant!!! The one we did not want to go! How ridiculous was that? Ha ha ha… After that, we went to watch Hoodwinked. Boring…

On Monday, I woke up to drop Erin off at the airport. Then Chris and I went to some cool diner styled after the fifties. The servers all have the cute little white dresses and the coin dispensers. Even the hostess was wearing a white top and a flowing red dress, just as you would imagine as if you are on the set of Happy Days! The food was yummy too, to boot! After that, I just slept the rest of the afternoon while Chris went on some architectural tour before having to taking me to the airport.

On my way back, as I limped my way across the terminal, I found a good spot in the A line to wait to board my flight. When we finally started boarding, people, as always, started to cut lines. This young, ditzy girl and her boyfriend decided that they were V.I.P.’s and that they shouldn’t wait at the end of the line, and cut in front of me. I told them that the line was back there, but the guy proceeded to tell me that it doesn’t matter, since we were all going to the same place—Chicago. I countered, saying, “True, but then there’s etiquette.” He blew me off, and proceeded to cut in front of me. I was tired and in pain, so I didn’t want to go further with it. I just wanted to get on the plane and relax.

When I got on, this guy who had a roller bag that was way oversized than what was allowed could not find a space for it up front without compromising to sit in the rear of the plane. So he stuck it in a narrow spot, with the bag sticking out of the overhead cabin by a good 5 inches. Then he sat down. I was thinking, what a jerk. Then he took off his jacket. OMG. I see that this young guy is a police officer, bright yellow “POLICE” smack in the back, and “D.A.R.E” in the front in red. At first, I thought he was just a regular jackass. Now, he became this idiotic police officer who probably was still in probation. That infuriated me. This is an officer who was trained to protect and serve, and what’s more, to serve as a role model for kids. And his behavior and inconsiderate actions are just contradictory to his role in society. How typical… They think they deserve special treatment. Hmmph! Don’t get me wrong, I respect those in uniform, but I am growing incessantly tired of the abuse, especially in Chicago…

Anyway, venting aside, I finally got home. I took a cab, which stunk to high heavens. Someone must have vomited in the back. But you know what? With barely any cabs at the airport past midnight, I did not complain. When I got home, I just crashed into my bed and had a good nap!

So… That was the memoirs of my trip. Hee hee… Here’s where you need to determine whether all facts are factually correct, or if I stretched some truths to make it more interesting to you, my readers. =)